A Brutally Honest Kid’s Review of ‘Toy Story 5’

I remember going to the first Toy Story with my parents in the fall of November 1995. It doesn’t feel like that was 30 years ago — but it was. And now I’m a parent with kids of my own, and I get to be the dad who takes them to see a new Toy Story.

It’s a little surreal, but it’s also fitting. Toy Story 5 is all about that inexorable march of time. It’s about how the toys’ adorable owner Bonnie (Scarlett Spears) is getting older and beginning to lose interest in her old companions like Buzz Lightyear (Tim Allen) and Jessie the cowgirl (Joan Cusack) in favor of electronic devices like Lilypad (Greta Lee), a computer tablet that monopolizes all of her play time.

Bonnie is eight years old in Toy Story 5 — the exact same age as my younger daughter, who is presumably the target audience for the film. She joined me for the press screening of Pixar’s latest sequel and afterwards —as we often do after we see movies together — we shared our respective reactions to it on the subway ride home.

We discussed how the new Toy Story compares to the previous ones, and also how it rated with the last film we saw in a theater, The Mandalorian and Grogu. We also debated the film’s ultimate message about the role tech should (or shouldn’t) play in kids’ lives while she roasted her sister for being obsessed with our family’s Nintendo Switch. As always, my daughter’s thoughts were unpredictable, hilarious, and occasionally quite insightful. (If you need help dealing with some bullies, she has some ideas that might be helpful.)

READ MORE: A Brutally Honest Adult’s Review of Toy Story 5

What did you think of the movie?

It was better than I thought it was gonna be.

Really?

I don’t really like Toy Story movies that much.

What?!?

I like them, but they’re not the best.

Okay, my world is rocked right now. Why don’t you like Toy Story movies?

I don’t know, some of the movies just … don’t feel like they need to have all their parts.

That’s probably true of a lot of movies, not just Toy Story. So then why was this one better?

I liked the story.

What about the story did you like? I liked it too.

Well, there was a device trying to take over Bonnie’s room. But then the device [SPOILER REDACTED]. Also, it was a movie about making new friends.

There was a lot about devices in this movie. What do you think about devices? Do you like using devices?

[nods]

Do you sometimes feel like you get zombified by devices the way Bonnie does in the movie, where you get sucked into the screen and you can’t look away? Because I can tell you that you definitely do.

Sometimes. But my sister does it more than me!

Okay, that’s fair.

Especially with Nintendo Switch. Like when Bonnie was playing video games on her tablet? I don’t see Bonnie, I see [my oldest daughter] Riley.

It’s so true. Why do you think she likes devices so much?

Well, like they say in the movie that toys are for play but tech is for everything. So there’s that. But also it has more than that … some people, like Mom, they can’t imagine stuff in their mind.

Yeah…

But on a device it’s right in front of you on the screen. You don’t have to make it up. With toys you have to decide every single thing. With video games, you don’t have to decide everything.

That’s a good point. What do you think the movie was trying to say about devices by the end?

That sometimes they can be addictive, but you should get off them some times. You need to know when to stop and play for a little bit.

When Bonnie was getting so into Lilypad and not playing with her toys, and then the toys got put away by her dad, did you think about when I tell you to turn off the TV and then you complain ‘I’m bored! There’s nothing to do!’ And then I say ‘There’s a whole playroom filled with toys, you could play with those!’ And you go ‘I don’t want to!’ and then I’m like “I can give you a garbage bag and you can pack them up and throw them all away!” and you groan at me … did that scene remind you of that at all?

Uhhhhhh yes.

[laughs] Okay good, it wasn’t just me.

When I see Bonnie I just see my sister, and instead of a tablet, I imagine her with the Switch. I remember yesterday Mom was like “Time for dinner!” and Riley was like [imitating her sister whining] “Can I just finish this please? I’m almost done with this battle!”

That does sound like your sister. Did you have a favorite of the toys?

I’m honestly disappointed Bo Peep wasn’t in it very much.

Yeah, she did have a very small role, which was a bummer. Among the characters that were in it more, were there any that you really liked?

Uhhh … I really liked Jessie’s horse.

Bullseye. I love Bullseye too.

He was like [imitates Bullseye’s comic mugging].

He’s so expressive even though he can’t talk.

I also liked the pig.

The piggy bank?

No, the real pig.

Ohhhh, the actual pig on the farm that Jessie meets. Jimmy Dean. He reminded me of [our family dog] Franny. Because he likes toys just like Franny does.

Franny looooves toys. Riley closes her door when she goes to school now so Franny won’t sneak in and steal her stuffies.

A lot of the movie is about Bonnie having trouble making friends; she gets shy and nervous around new people. Do you ever feel that way?

Yes.

What do you do when you have that feeling?

I try to go to the friends I do have, and spend more time with them.

Bonnie’s tablet says it wants to help her make friends, but then the friends it connects her with might not be so nice. They even say mean things to her. What would you do if you were Bonnie in that situation?

I would text them “Stop!” and turn off the device, and X out and make the texting stop so they can’t be mean to me anymore.

That’s a good plan.

And if I saw them at dance class then I would ignore them. And if they kept being really rude I literally would yell “STOP!” and tell a grownup about them.

I’m glad you would stand up for yourself. What did you think about how Jessie handled all of this? She’s kind of the main character of this Toy Story.

She is. I liked her. And I loved how she was with Bullseye. And Bullseye when he made that face like [makes comically terrified face].

Wow, very good scared face. Was the way the girls played in the film realistic? Did it remind you of how you and your sister play with your imagination?

Yeah, they did a good job.

Was there anything you didn’t like about the movie? You mentioned you wished Bo Peep had a bigger part.

I wish they added more characters. More toys. Really the only toys that you know from the previous movies that they show a lot are Bullseye, Jessie, Woody, and Buzz.

They have so many characters now after five movies that it’s hard to fit them all in. And they keep adding new guys. In this one there’s a potty training toy, Smarty Pants.

I loved that the shape was a toilet paper! [laughs hysterically]

You spotted that, huh?

And it had a poop game!

The poop game is gonna be a big hit. We didn’t use a device to teach you how to use the potty.

Maybe you should have. [evil grin]

Maybe. But yeah, they keep adding new toys and it’s hard to make room for all the old ones.

Like I said, I wish they added in Bo Peep. But I also wished they added Rex and the piggy bank.

Hamm. Yeah, Rex is really funny and they do not give him much to do this time.

None of them have a big part except Jessie, the horse, Woody, and Buzz.

Yup, you’re right. The last movie we saw together was The Mandalorian and Grogu. Which did you like better?

[without hesitation] Mandalorian and Grogu.

Oh really? You liked Toy Story, but that was even better? Why was that one better?

I love Star Wars. Also, it felt more like real life, like things that might happen. Like this one [Toy Story 5] might happen in real life, but The Mandalorian actually felt more real.

Okay, well this one is a cartoon, and The Mandalorian is live-action with actors and puppets and stuff.

Also there was more, like, surprising things. Like, in Toy Story there’s not as many, like, things like the dragon snake and all the monsters. In Toy Story, there’s not as many things like that.

Okay. There’s no wrong answer! If you liked The Mandalorian more, that’s great! I am just curious which you preferred.

Also, I just prefer Star Wars over Toy Story.

Totally valid thing to feel.

What did you prefer, Mandalorian or Toy Story?

I think I liked Toy Story better.

[jaw drops]

Is that wrong? Is that surprising?

Not really.

Why is it not really surprising?

Well, it’s a little surprising because we watch Star Wars so much and I haven’t seen you watch a Toy Story movie in a very long time.

Well, we’ve watched all the Toy Story movies, we just haven’t rewatched them lately. There are still more Star Wars things we haven’t seen yet so we’re working our way through the full series. I grew up watching Star Wars, but I also grew up watching Toy Story.

I didn’t think it was out when you were born!

What year do you think the first one came out?

[Silently calculates for six straight seconds]

I was born in 1980, so when do you think the first Toy Story came out?

1990?

Not a bad guess. It was 1995. So I was like 14, turning 15. That’s a little old for Toy Story, but I still liked it a lot. And then they just kept making them.

They’ve made some Toy Story movies but they’ve made a lot more Star Wars movies.

That’s absolutely true, but sometimes making less of something makes the things they did make feel more special. Because you don’t have so much of it and when it finally comes back you’re like “Oh, I haven’t seen one of these in such a long time!” And that’s kind of exciting.

But The Mandalorian and Grogu was the first Star Wars movie in a long time, right?

That’s true. Seven years. Actually, Toy Story 4 came out the same year as the last Star Wars movie, 2019. So you might have a point there.

How old was I when the last one came out?

You would have been between one and two years old.

Wow.

But I had a good time seeing The Mandalorian with you. I love going to see anything at the movies with you. It’s fun going to the movies.

Yeah.

Here’s a tough question for you. If you could only have one toy from Toy Story, which would you pick?

To play with?

Yes. Which would be the toy you would actually want to own?

That is hard.

I know, it’s a hard question.

I kind of have two. So one is Jessie and the horse.

Jessie and Bullseye together. That is a good answer because they’re a matched pair.

And the second one … do you know the Buzz Lightyears that are, like, the new Buzz Lightyears?

Yes, I think they’re called like ‘High-Tech Buzz Lightyear.”

They were cool.

Yeah, those were a fun surprise. What did you think of that part of the movie, when there were all those High-Tech Buzz Lightyears running around together?

I thought it was very cool how there was a bunch of them. I also liked when the pig tried to eat Woody’s head.

[laughs] Oh yeah, that was great. Was it confusing at all when the movie suddenly had all these Buzz Lightyears off on an adventure?

Yes! I was like “Where’s Woody? This is weird.” And then I saw he had that fancy thing on his chest and I was like “Okay, that’s how you can tell the Buzzes apart.”

So you figured it out eventually.

Yeah but it was still a little bit confusing.

You didn’t ask me any questions during Toy Story; you did ask quite a few questions during The Mandalorian and Grogu.

Dad, Star Wars is a lot more complicated than Toy Story.

Oh, sorry.